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UN-Complicating Love & Life

It’s complicated? A.I., apps, and agonizing algorithms. Metaphysical multiverses with multitudes of modalities. Rizz-colored glasses, cannon-bailing, and vision board dating. Endless esoteric and existential explorations…

…As life continues to move forward into the now (formerly known as the future), navigating the sea of endless labels, terminology, tech, layers of consciousness, ever-changing rules of engagement, and the UBER-diversity of BEING human can feel like finding a needle in a galaxy-sized haystack!  With this, it’s no wonder that so many people are devouring whatever data they can get their hands on, reaching out for help from a multitude of experts, or going ever further down the rabbit hole to try to get to the flip-side where even the smallest spark of clarity can be found.

In a complicated world, the answers must surely also be complicated, right?

But, what if the key to untangling the billions of threads of life in the 21st century was actually anything BUT complicated?

What if the answer has been in front of us all-along?

Enter the power of SIMPLICITY.

The simple equation If you really think about it, any and every time humans are faced with challenges or choices, the end goal is always the same: To ultimately reach a clear decision, to funnel down to a clear direction, and to choose THE next clear action. Even in the case of a complex project, scientific study, or relationship issue that may involve many layers or steps, the key to progress and forward motion is in discovering the ONE thing to do now.

SIMPLE IDEA 1: Get to ONE: Identify the ONE thing you CAN do NOW.

The simple question

As one very brilliant wild-haired dude once said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them."  (-Albert Einstein, BTW) And more often than not, the more we dig into the origin stories and excruciating details of problems and challenges – even with the best of intentions - the more we forget to ask THE question that actually has THE power to shift our gaze from the perpetual rear-view mirror to the forward-facing direction we actually WANT to go:






Yes, I know you’ve heard this from me before (and will probably hear it another 100 times), but until you (and any of us) stop focusing on what you don’t like, don’t appreciate, don’t understand, can’t tolerate, just can’t do anymore, what you will never, ever, ever do again, etc., all you do is keep ALL of THAT active.

Yes, it IS healthy to allow for natural, authentic, emotional processing, as repressing or suppressing emotions is destructive to the body, mind, and spirit.

Yes, it IS helpful to know what you don’t want so you can discover what you DO want.

But rather than find 100 different names and labels for what you think is wrong with the world, your family, or yourself, continue to look for more reasons why things are out of sorts, and find out how many other people are having the same problem, how long they’ve been dealing with it, why relationships and life are hard, and why the prognosis isn’t good:

Once you have processed and are VERY clear about what you don’t want…

…Turn your attention to discovering what you DO want, where you WANT to go, how you WANT to feel, and who you WANT to be, and START MOVING IN THAT DIRECTION.

SIMPLE IDEA 2: Discover WDYW? You’re far more likely to get to where you want to be when you know what that is and start moving in THAT direction.

The simple intention

With the proliferation of so many beings in the spotlight demonstrating wildly unhealthy, externally-focused, narcissistic tendencies, it’s no wonder another sector of the population feels that eliminating any and all desires or sense of self is THE answer to everything. For me, I personally believe that if we were not meant to have individual preferences, have direct, personal experiences, or express our unique personalities, none of us would have bothered to leave the eternally peaceful, drama-free experience of the ethers - so perhaps the answer lies somewhere in-between.

Given these ideas, EVERY human has some form of goal or intention regarding love, abundance, health, and life in general, and these can range from ultra-specific to extremely general, but regardless of where you see yourself in this equation, there is a simple intention that ALL humans seek in some form or fashion: How they ultimately want to FEEL.

For example - How would you (or how do you believe you would) feel if:

1.     If you had the ideal romantic relationship in your life right now?

2.     If you had the kind of income/career/creative opportunities you have been asking for?

3.     If your body and mind operated, looked, and felt the way you prefer?

Once you find the core FEELING that represents what you truly want:

Did you know that if you made it your mission to focus upon any and every thought, idea, conversation, observation, experience, or data that felt like THAT feeling, you get to manifest the end result feeling you were looking for someday right NOW?

Did you know that you also actually put yourself in the position to manifest, attract, and allow your intention (or something that’s even MORE of a match to what you truly want) in record time?

SIMPLE IDEA 3: How do you want to FEEL? You are far more likely to attract something that feels good later when you focus on activating that feeling NOW.

The simple guidance

Humans have long looked to some outside source to determine what is “wrong” or “right” when we have each had what we truly needed with us all-along: Our ability to sense, perceive, feel, and choose to lean toward LIGHT*:

=What feels lighter to your heart, body & mind

=What feeds peace, clarity, and good (but not frenetic) energy

=What is conducive to greater health and well-being

Your “gut” feelings, tension vs relaxation, and feeling drained vs feeling energized are all cues from your body and your Inner Compass/iExpert that let you know whether or not you are focusing on LIGHT and if you are moving toward or away from something that is beneficial for you.  And while you can certainly choose to “feel the fear and do it anyway” or summon all your strength to get up and get moving when a part of you is firmly planted on the couch, when you follow the call of LIGHT, you are far more likely to move in a healthy, helpful direction than if you ignore your guidance or buy into heavy or dark thoughts.

SIMPLE IDEA 4: Follow the LIGHT and you will always move toward what is healthy, beautiful, and bright.

*Please note that my reference to the “LIGHT” can have whatever symbolic meaning YOU choose to attribute to it, and no religious (or non-religious) overlay was intended.

Love, simplified

“Love”, for many, is a volatile, loaded word that seems to mean a million different things to a million different people.  And while no-one should EVER tell another who and how to love, or what the ideal relationship flow should look like for them, we humans have done an extraordinary job in complicating what could be one of the clearest, simplest, most pristine states of being we can experience in life. Why? Because we confuse love with attachment – which is entirely motivated by fear of loss. And being that loss and emotional pain are one in the same, humans will do just about anything to avoid and NOT have to experience this.

In truth, what most label as “love songs” would more accurately be described as attachment or “loss songs”!  This is why relationships tend to get complicated and drive even the most successful, otherwise well-adjusted humans over the edge.  But here’s the reality about “love”: Love, in its purest form, is actually the most UN-complicated thing of ALL!

Love feels like peace and clarity.

Love wants well-being for ALL.

Love sees the beauty in all things.

Love celebrates and naturally elevates the object of its attention.

Love is the ultimate expression of Light.

In short, love wants ALL to live fully and THRIVE – and when you feel this for yourself or others, that is how you know that you are operating from a place of LOVE (rather than attachment/fear of loss).  So, if you want more harmony, understanding, ease, and flow in your relationships, the simple act of remembering what love actually IS and making a conscious choice to let LOVE lead, can change EVERYTHING.

SIMPLE IDEA 5: Remember what LOVE IS and let LOVE lead.


The Bottom Line: UN-Complicating Love & Life

Like the Universe itself, the nature of the human experience is one of ongoing expansion and evolution, and with this, the amount of data, detail, tools, and options for enjoying a greater quality of love & life will only continue to increase and morph into the next catch-phrase, modality, discovery, or trend of the moment.  And, truly, having more colors in the crayon box that is life allows us to craft even more beautiful and intricate works of art for the benefit and delight of ALL!…

But in the complicated gumbo of information about what love and life “should” be, please do remember to give some attention to the part of you that is timeless rather than trending; The part of you that remembers:

1. When LOVE leads, everyone wins

2. Focusing on LIGHT leads to brighter days

3. The better you FEEL now, the more feel-good experiences you will attract later

4. Things change when you identify what you WANT & start moving toward it

5. Forward motion always starts with discovering step ONE.

Here's to moving Onward, Upward & Forward in YOUR great adventure of life, and knowing that simplicity really can be a trusted friend and guide at every stage of the journey!


Article originally featured in the February, 2024 edition of Transformation Coaching Magazine

For more tools to Love Your SELF, Love your Relationships, Love your Life, move Onward, Upward & Forward and work with Law of Attraction to manifest, attract, and allow success, well-being, and more, CLICK HERE


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