Dear Fellow Coaches, Mentors, and Fiery Fellow Travelers,
A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine inspired a message from me that I felt compelled to share. I have only made a few alterations for the sake of flow, protecting privacy, and relevance.
As I wrote these words to her, I was also sure to keep this as an active “memo to myself,” for I believe we can never have enough reminders that we deserve the best in life, that our true tribe will always support our well-being, and that, as Glinda from “The Wizard of Oz” once said, “You’ve always had the power all along, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”
Here’s my “letter to a friend” below:
Hello Sweet Friend,
As always, this is my take/opinion on things & what I've come to know, so only keep what resonates with you & feel free to throw the rest out...
So sorry to hear that you're having a rough ride right now. I have definitely felt like that - and even recently - but I realized that the only one who could change the momentum of my life flow was me.
Even though we hope the people we love will recognize our situation & make it better for us, it’s not their job, and often, even with the best of intentions, they just can’t know the whole picture, or what path is truly the path of least resistance for YOU. They can love us and want the best for us, but It is still up to us to prioritize our own well-being, first and foremost.
Only you can lighten your load, girl. You have to get to a point where you decide enough is enough, say "no" and MEAN it, and take things off your own plate with no apologies or compromises. Anyone who loves you will always root for your well-being & there should never be a "price to pay" for love. You deserve to live a life that feels good to you, but YOU have to know that for yourself.
People will also treat you the way you "teach" them to treat you, so if you continually say, "yes" when you mean "no" or take on more than what is good for you to please someone else, they will continue to ask things of you. It’s not that they don’t care, but because YOU keep saying "yes" - or say "no," then get wishy-washy about it - in their minds, they think "yes" actually means, "yes." (Imagine that?!)
Unless you are honest & stick to your guns, they can’t know your truth.
I’ve also been in situations recently where I had to take my power and life back, and even though certain conversations weren't pretty and I had to face a lot of fears & self-criticism, it was all worth it, for everyone who truly loves me has been 100% supportive and okay with my "terms of well-being." Others who have been resistant to it have either decided to love me anyway or have fallen away - and I'm okay with that, as I will no longer willingly participate in relationships that don't allow me to be 100% me or that ask me to compromise my well-being. Boy, has that been freeing & wonderful!!
I (or anyone who is capable of unconditional love & true friendship) believe YOU deserve the best and will always support whatever feeds your joy & well-being – NO MATTER WHAT. You need to give YOURSELF that gift & claim your own value & worth.
Love and be kind & good to YOU, and your true tribe will always hang with you!!
…And BTW: Letting yourself do things that raise your vibe & get you back to clarity & calm will benefit EVERYONE, as they will get more of the happy, beautiful, REAL you.
I love you & hope this helps!
The Bottom Line: Letter to a Friend, Memo to Myself
-When your plate gets too full and you’re moving in a direction that leads AWAY from joy and wellness, remember that YOU have the power to make a new decision and choose something else. Perhaps it’s time for YOU to take something off your OWN plate and free up space for more calm, fun, and joy?
-A great relationship should never come with a “price” or take away from your life, but ADD happiness and encourage joyful evolution for ALL parties.
-You are and always will be in charge of your own well-being, and even the most well-meaning peeps can’t truly know what feels like the path of least resistance (greatest flow) for YOU.
-Anyone who truly cares for you will always support anything that helps you thrive: Your true tribe will always stand by you!
-When you are courageous enough to speak and LIVE your truth, you demonstrate respect for yourself AND others.
-The world deserves to have the gift of experiencing the happy, beautiful, REAL you - and YOU deserve to live a life YOU love!
Here’s to allowing YOUR success, letting the light of your authentic self shine, and to fully, madly, passionately, unapologetically living life on FIRE!